


(who could ever) love me

by tzxmus



Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Death, Dysfunctional Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Miya Osamu Needs a Hug, Other, Sad Miya Atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29947215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzxmus/pseuds/tzxmus
Summary: Five times Miya Atsumu's family members left him and the one time one didn't.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu
Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202318
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	(who could ever) love me

**Author's Note:**

> tw ; child abandonment + implied/referenced domestic abuse + child abuse + child neglect + death

[1]

Miya Atsumu's hazel eyes trace the black ink, smudged against the nearly gray colored paper. His name is printed clearly at the top, outlines of teardrops fading away the writing.  _ I am sorry, Atsumu. _ stares at him in a neat handwriting that matched Miya Osamu's more than Atsumu's own scribbles.

_ I'm trusting you to take care of yourself and your brother, just like you've always done. _ The yells and glass shattering sends the brunette tumbling out of his room to greet his father.

The image of a brunette smiling under a veil of white left on the floor beneath the broken frame.  _ I'm sorry I can't stay with you. _ Atsumu's throat is dry when he sucks in a breath, lifting his head towards his father.

"How dare she?! How dare she leave?! That bitch!" thunders through the walls.

Atsumu can't run away as another frame flies towards his face, his arms barely covering him in time. "You! It's all your fault! It's all your damn fault!"

_ You must be strong, stronger than me. I love you, Atsumu. Thank you. _ are the words that keep him going as he covers himself in layers of long sleeves and carefree smiles.

[2]

His father begins returning later and later once the twins enter their first year of middle school. Osamu is blissfully unaware of how relieved Atsumu felt to return home to a stack of a few bills instead of a man with a bottle.

"It's alright," Atsumu constantly reassures his twin with a smile, "We can get through it, together."

But, as time passes, the money stops appearing on their kitchen table. Atsumu hears Osamu's stomach rumble during some nights and during others, Atsumu sneaks out to find work that might be able to support them just a little.

It is around seven months of not seeing their father and six weeks without much money to provide for them that an aunt and uncle appear at their doorstep to tell them to pack their things.

The reality hits Atsumu, who had denied it countless times before, more than the stiff and "stoic" Osamu.

"Your father isn't coming back."

It isn't as if Atsumu wants his father to come back. In all honesty, part of him is relieved he never has to see that man stand over him or hear him scream never ending insults.

But, Osamu doesn't know any of that. He just loses his "loving" father.

They both lose their home.

[3]

Their aunt is the sister of their father, who honestly cut ties with the Miyas entirely after marrying. To see her, with her hair up properly and in a proper suit, is a surprise to say the least.

Not unwelcome, at first, but both twins can tell by the way her nose wrinkles at the sight of them that she didn't like them. Not one bit.

So, he gathers his brother closer when the shouts start, their aunt demanding and loud, "Send them somewhere else! I am not dealing with that good-for-nothing's trash children!"

A phone call to their uncle's mother who happened to live in Hyogo settled that argument but Atsumu can't bring himself to thank the two as he shuffles a tearful and shaking Osamu away.

"It will be okay," Atsumu reminds, urging his brother's fists to relax before he can throw a fist at their aunt and uncle, "We still have each other!"

[4]

Atsumu and Osamu meet their "grandmother" on a Saturday afternoon, both wary of her the moment they laid eyes on her. She is slightly more traditional, slightly more strict, slightly more unforgiving-seeming than they were told.

But, as she sets onigiri and fatty tuna on the table in front of them and smiles as she offers to buy a gift for moving in, they can't help but think things won't be too bad.

It goes great. They feel as if they're a family by their first day in high school. They return home to tell stories and help cook, she welcomes them with a smile, a hug, and a word of love to "fill in for all the times you deserved to hear it growing up."

One day, Atsumu and Osamu return home to a dark and empty house, a phone call echoing in their ears a demand to go to the hospital right away.

All they can do is listen to her whisper her "I love you"s and as Atsumu lingers in the room while Osamu flees to "find food", he can feel her cool touch against his wrist.

"I'm sorry, Tsumu, for leaving you behind again. But, never forget your strength." She is gone before the week ends.

[5]

Osamu will never leave Atsumu. That is their unspoken/vaguely spoken promise. When he has no friends, when his family leaves, he knows he will always have Osamu by his side. So, why is he telling Atsumu that he wants to quit volleyball? Why is he telling Atsumu that he has been planning to quit for months?

Why is Osamu leaving him, too?

So, he fights and he yells, and nearly his entire being is willing to beg Osamu to not go. What is he supposed to do without Osamu? What can he do with no one left?

Kita Shinsuke confronts Atsumu as Ojiro Aran talks to Osamu, and for the first time, Atsumu spills everything. "If Samu doesn't play volleyball with me, he won't come back..." He whispers, so soft that Shinsuke may miss it if he breathes too loudly (which he never does, but there's a first time for everything). "Kita-san, I can't do it without Samu... They all... want me to be strong... but I'm not.

"I've never been strong, I just had Samu... But, Samu doesn't need me at all, does he...? He ever did."

[+1]

Osamu learns to hate his parents after hearing his brother sob softly under covers the first night in their grandmother's house. He confronts their grandmother months later to only watch her smile fondly and shake her head.

"Tsumu told me a little bit, but I don't know much."

A little bit is millions more than Osamu knew. Did Atsumu not trust him enough to tell him? Why didn't Atsumu say anything—

"Tsumu loves you." His grandmother pulled him out of his thoughts with a knowing smile. "More than you know, it seems." And Osamu has to swallow for the lump to loosen in his throat.

And now, he remembers her final words to him as Atsumu sleeps in the chair beside her, his head on the mattress so his body is completely arched, "Samu, take care of yourself... and of Tsumu."

And through the door, he can hear his brother's soft whimpers and his heart shatters. Atsumu isn't a big crier, he rarely cries in front of Osamu, let alone other people, so why—"But, Samu doesn't need me at all, does he? He never did..."

Osamu flings open the door without letting Aran stop him and just angrily yells at Atsumu, "You are a fucking moron! Just because I'm quitting volleyball doesn't mean I don't need you! Stop being a moron and just talk to me!

"Tell me how you're feeling and tell me what's going on! You don't need to be strong for the two of us!"

He grabs Atsumu's jacket, but Shinsuke's look of disapproval doesn't deter him, "Fuck our parents and relatives for leaving us, but I'm not leaving you!

"Do you understand me, Tsumu?!"

And, ah, Atsumu doesn't fight back as his hands reach up and clasp around Osamu's, "Gran—"

"We both know I wasn't talking about her." Osamu huffs back, watching a weak smile wash over Atsumu's face. "Be happy, Tsumu, because I'll be with you until we're on our deathbeds and I'll win our competition."

And when Atsumu cries, Osamu doesn't hesitate to bury his brother in his arms and smother him. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise, you dumb fuck. I'll just be a phone call away. "You'll always have me, Tsumu."


End file.
